If you went to medical school, it's either one of two things:
A) You don't know what the hell you are getting yourself into
or
B) There must be something wrong with you.
Since I don't have anything nice or intelligent to say about category A. I will jump to Category B.
The perception of medical students or doctors can be divided into two; the first is the public perception and the second is the insider's perception. The public paints a rosy picture. Doctors are smart. They always know what to do. They are one of the smartest people. They are kind. A bit arrogant but have a right to be. While the insider's perception is a little different. A little edgy.
Perhaps Eric Segal summed it up when he said that Doctors were broken healers. Then this quote said by my friend about women in medical school: they're either ugly or broken (most people will go for broken). I think that no other profession loathes itself more than medicine.
This paradox; this disjunction between what the world perceives and those inside of the profession is fascinating. Where did this dissonance between both perception start and why is it constantly enduring? There seems to be a difference of opinions when you're from the outside looking in and when you're really there. I honestly can't tell where this started or how this happened but I can try to put some sense into it.
I think medicine contradicts itself from start to finish. Let me point out the ways.
In medicine, you are taught how to spot the disease and its management in others. You are taught on health. And yet, the practices of learning medicine is not healthy at all. You study health and yet, the average medical student is not healthy at all. You look at a medical student. You see then pulling off all-nighters and loading up on coffee. You see medical residents and see that they have 24 hour duties that usually extends and extends. And when it's time to relax, there are endless parties, endless liquor, and endless smoke (organic or otherwise). Granted, there are exceptions but this is the general feel of a medical student. Study hard. Party hard. And yet, I can not find it in me to condemn this practice. Know why? Because it is needed. You have to study your ass off to get by. And you have to have some form of release as well. It is deeply etched in the medical profession. That's why this anti-smoking drive by the PMA will never succeed. Because most of them know it will. The medical profession won't survive without cigarettes or alcohol.
In medicine, you are taught to be detached while maintaining compassion with your patients. You are taught to care for your patients and yet have a detached outlook on their condition. Emotions will only get in the way of treatment. This is a delicate balance and I think, most people will never find it. You either became a cold hearted asshole or an emotionally unstable but passionate healer. You can oscillate between the two but I think that it's really hard to find the balance that you're looking for. Medicine is such an intimate profession. You can get close to your patients and get drawn in their fight. And when emotions are involved, it is truly hard not to get attached to the well being of the patients. Some say it's a good thing. It's an added motivation. While for some, it is a distraction. Feelings are volatile. It can distract you from seeing the truth. And both sides of it will have merit. Which makes those in the medical field all the more confused.
Perhaps there is no other profession that gets paid to save people from themselves and generally gets treated badly if the treatment is not to the patient's liking. It's true. You look at those people you treat, more than half of them are self-inflicted wounds. Too much drinking, too much partying, too much smoking, too much eating, careless driving, overdosing on something. And yet, when the treatment takes too long or doesn't work, people will get angry. They will call you incompetent, slow or worse, they will take matters into their own hands when they feel it takes too long. Maybe the world's perception of medicine is rosy but the expectations are high. And it hurts self-esteem. After all, you survived the pains of getting this education, sacrificing a lot to get where you are, but in the end, the very people you are trying to help, who have never experienced the kind of hardships that you had, ridicule you and tell you that you are not good enough. I mean, that hurts. Just by being where you are now, you earned it. And yet, when you feel underappreciated despite the willingness to help, that sort of hits it, doesn't it?
Lastly, there is no other profession whose sole purpose is its own destruction. Look at medicine, what does it hope to achieve? the end of disease and everyone is healthy. Now, if this goal is achieved, what will become of medicine? If there is no disease to cure, no sickness to treat, what happens to medicine as a profession? Practicing medicine is a contradiction. Is there any other profession that tries to destroy itself so? Each new discovery that we have, each scientific breakthrough that would lead us closer to the end of disease would also lead us to the end of the medical profession.
That's it. Medicine is a contradiction. So are the people involved in it. I do believe that most if not all people in medicine are dysfunctional to a degree. This dysfunction, whatever it is, you need it to survive medicine. Because if you don't have this. You won't survive this profession that is dysfunctional from the start. In the end, it is our fatal flaws that will help us survive.
